Gender Neutrality and Why It's Important to Us

Over the course of the last few months, I (Amy) have had several conversations with friends and family about our decision to not find out the gender of Panda. The responses have ranged from "That's awesome!" to "How am I going to shop for you if I don't know the gender?" Since Panda's arrival is nearly upon us, I felt like it was important to talk about what we mean by gender neutrality and why we're serious about it.

• What we don't mean
  
  
  1. That we want to dress Panda in ugly or impractical clothing.
  2. That we will never dress Panda in gender specific clothing.
  3. That we will switch to gender specific clothing once Panda arrives. (The exception to this is one or two dress outfits. We hope to dress her in colors and patterns that will complement her skin tone & hair/eye color. If she inherits our coloring, this probably means rich, saturated hues and darker neutrals. Neither of which lend themselves to gender specificity.
• What we do mean
  
  1. That we don't want to reinforce gender stereotypes. We ourselves do not fit neatly into the gender stereotypes and we do not want to force or reinforce those stereotypes on Panda.
  2. That we want Panda's clothing to be practical for her development.
     

     [T]he infant needs to be comfortable when lying in a prone position. This means that her clothes must be free of big buttons, bows and other ornamentation...Appropriate clothing for the infant allows her to get her knees under her, push off, scoot and crawl, just as soon as coordination and muscle strength make these actions possible. On her upper body, the infant wears layered clothing: a soft cotton undershirt and, if needed, a long-sleeve cotton shirt as well as a lightweight wool sweater buttoned up the back. Her cloth cotton diaper should...[allow] the legs to come closer together for freer forward movement...For the rest of her dress, the infant has bare legs with booties or socks with ankles just tight enough to stay on her feet. If she is going to be on a chafing surface such as a rough carpet or stone patio, she may need a pair of cotton leggings for protection. – Lillard and Jessen, Montessori From the Start

  3. That we want to recycle as much of Panda's wardrobe as possible for the next baby. The more of her wardrobe that is gender neutral, the more will be able to be passed on, no matter what gender her sibling(s) are.
• What we need from you, our friends and family
  
  1. Support for our decisions, from how we dress Panda to how we choose to raise her.
  2. Other gear for Panda besides clothing. We are the first in our family to give birth, and we have no hand-me-downs. We desperately need diapers, swaddling blankets, wetbags and other essentials. Especially the diapers. The start up cost of cloth diapering is quite high and assistance with this would be greatly appreciated. If you are unsure of what is needed, we have a registry.

Examples of gender neutral clothing we already have